Was it really a surprise when you learned that more than 80 couples filed for divorce immediately after leaving the lockdown in China? We’re rarely together 24/7, which is hardly ever the case for any extended period of time, maybe just around Christmas or a holiday, and then there are usually outside distractions.
So, in these extraordinary times, let’s consider ways to help your relationship survive COVID-19
Accept that there will be ups and downs. Everyone has been affected by this pandemic. From missing people you know, work, your job, and your health, it’s also the uncertainty about how long this time will last and the long-term effects that can make our minds run “what if” scenarios and cause mood swings. Accept that if your partner is having a “breakup,” it’s not automatically about you, so don’t take it personally.
– talk to each other. Communication is crucial at a time like this. Don’t talk silently about your situation, but don’t hide how you feel either. Keep talking. Everything is different than usual. Our eating habits, alcohol and coffee consumption, exercise, social life, and sleeping patterns may have all changed. Each affects our mental and physical health and well-being.
Allow yourself to “push” sometimes. If your partner is in a good place, and doesn’t want to hear the negativity, says, “Leave it now,” or “Stop being miserable,” sometimes be prepared to take that on board. Try to let their humor permeate you.
– keep in touch and talk to others, to your family and friends. It helps to discover that many people share your concerns and fears and experience similar irritations in their relationships. Perhaps you join sites and online chat rooms where you can share tips for coping, or embrace the many activities and interests that are available. Perhaps you can arrange group chats, virtual dinner dates, coffee mornings, or book clubs where you can socialize and enjoy the company of a variety of people and activities.
They agreed to give each other space And don’t do it all together. There are times when one can do the food shop, walk the dog, do some work, go and read, or just relax in a fun bath and enjoy some alone time. Again, this isn’t personal, but it does allow each space to be “hot” together for a while.
Enjoy separate hobbies or interests. A person may want to study or be interested in a hobby that they usually don’t have time for. Give them the opportunity to devote time to this as much as possible.
Find new activities to do togetherSomething you both expressed interest in. Maybe you’re planning a special post-COVID-19 vacation, or revisiting your back catalog of music, old photos, and games you used to play; You can find hours of fun, laughter, and nostalgia so help your relationship survive COVID-19.
When we are confined to our homes Far from all that routine and familiar, it’s understandable for someone to explode from time to time! Many of us feel that we have little or no control. Our familiar structure, our work, our exercise routines, and our social structure disappeared almost overnight. Forgive the occasional outburst. But if it happens with increasing frequency, try to discuss what happened next, when things are a little calmer.
Be patient with each other. Accept that the little things often cause the biggest upset. A big grievance is likely to be discussed at the time, while small things, such as waste containers not being emptied, a dirty cup left on the table, and a drink not being offered can trigger basic frustrations and annoyances. If this happens, try to step back and agree to discuss it at a less stressful time.
– You probably agree with the word “time out”Or a phrase or action that can be used to create a pause if things seem to be getting heated. Then he broke up for a while. One might go for a walk, cool off, and spend time in the park. Yes, sometimes, especially in these unprecedented days, we need to ignore some things and not comment or pick on everything that offends us or that we don’t like. But if rudeness or tantrums occur with increasing frequency, you need to think about your options. It may be helpful to discuss matters with family or friends or to use the support helpline.
Could alcohol be a factor? Alcohol sales have certainly increased, as has consumption of sugar and candy and time spent on gambling and porn sites. Again, mental and physical health, daily exercise, maybe a walk outside, getting up regularly at the same time, showering and maintaining a healthy routine all support good health, sleep, and a better approach to your relationship.
– If money is an issue Perhaps you negotiate a weekly or monthly allowance for whatever you spend on your whims, with the agreement not to make comments or ask questions.
Decide not to let children control every waking moment. Some families insist that their homeschooled children wear school uniforms until it is clear that this is not an extra unplanned holiday. Plan their lessons but also schedule online exercise classes, craft work, reading, and homework so you have some quiet time in the day and aren’t exhausted by the evening.
May this period of lockdown be the time for you to come together, strengthen your love, closeness and connection, and be able to create many beautiful memories along the way. A little thought, consideration, and sensitivity can help your relationship survive COVID-19.